Who Is Tonto MacGregor?
Tonto is the great, great, great grandson of Great Native American Indian Chief 'Big Tam A Hawker', from the Sioux Side Tribe. Big 'Tam A Hawker' and the tribe decided at a Pow Wow they hud hid enough of life on the reservation and joined Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show to do a gig in the east end of Glasgow at the 'Battle of Vinegar Hill'. It was there he met a local beauty at a War Dance in the Glasgow Barrowland.
A fight broke out during a rendition of the song 'The Crystal Chandeliers' by Sidney Divein, between the Sioux Side Tribe and the Bridgeton Hillbilly Boys (some of them were cowboys). The fight started because chief 'Big Tam A Hawker'' had asked wee Agnes MacGregor fur a dance.
Noo wee Agnes wis winchin' the head man o' the 'Bridgeton Hillbilly Boys', known as 'Wee Malky'. The bouncers hud taken everyone's weapon aff them at the door, but chief 'Big Tam A Hawker' had managed to sneak in a wee bow and arrow an fired it right at 'Wee Malky's' heid. (This is where the two famous Scottish sayings come from "Your getting the Malky" and "Wee Arra People").
Chief 'Tam A Hawker' claimed his prize and took wee Agnes as his squaw. They were merritt an' moved intae a single end wigwam on the Glesga Green. 'Tonto MacGregor grew up to become a mixed up, mixed raced entertainer, who cannae make his mind up whether he's Scottish, a Cowboy, or an Indian.